Relationships can be complex, only because we are people who have been defect of problems. Most that have resolved out of our childhoods. We think that many of our issues will resolve, so we get married and have kids. Only to discover that the person we married had no intention of sticking around in this lifetime. For me, I still remain unmarried at 51 and it’s because I have had the opposite occur. I was never perfect enough, good enough, blond enough or anything else enough to be accepted and loved. I constantly felt rejected.
Being a deeply heartfelt and loving person, I think of this often when another relationship doesn’t work out. People think because I am attractive, smart and funny that I should have no trouble finding someone who will love me, for me. And they are quite surprised when they find out, I haven’t! Finding that one person I can find fulfillment with. One that brings meaning, depth, compassion and joy.
I was brought up in a religious home, which grounded me in my values. And it seems over the years that the same repeated message, always comes up from the guys I date. You think your family are better than mine, they are perfect! We have the same problems and issues like others do. If I felt that way, I would never have treated their parents as nicely as I did. I was brought up to respect my elders. Yes we have had our share of problems, but coming from a reserved family we never really talked about them with others.
I collected poetry books and bookmarks with inspiring sayings when I was younger. They inspired me, invoked passion and positive feelings. I believe my journey has been one about love. Loving self, loving others and loving God. A journey that has had me up and down, all over constantly digging deeper as to why. I have always been an open minded person, who accepted people for where they are.
I was a naïve young girl, who has flourished into a compassionate warrior woman, who cultivates meaningful relationships in my work. I know that when true love comes, it won’t be work, our compatibility will compliment one another. It will be a protective man who encourages, supports and is my best friend.
*** Be well in your soul, do things without regret, be true to who you are and love always.